ADHD and Family Stress

Since I created my blog Grieving Maman, I've been writing mostly on grief, trauma and PTSD that we experienced following our tragic accident. This article is the first in a series of posts about how ADHD is adding additional challenges to our family.

Last week, we received the results of an assessment done by a neuropsychologist to see if my son Maxandre has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). The result; Mixed ADHD with hyperactivity/impulsivity and oppositional disorder. These were the results we expected; we would have been surprised to receive a different diagnosis. Here I will share my perspective to hopefully help other families in similar situations.

Diagnosis Can Be a Positive

The neuropsychologist took the time to explain to, us over the phone, why Maxandre’s diagnosis is ADHD with impulsiveness and opposition. We are happy to receive a professional diagnosis which will help us to better support Maxandre. All in all, for us, this is good news! Over the next week, we should receive the final written detailed report from the neuropsychologist.

Over the past year, I’ve read a lot on the subject. I also got a firsthand look at what ADHD really looks like since the children were mostly at home due to the pandemic and virtual school. Supervising and encouraging an ADHD child for virtual learning comes with its share of challenges. This experience gave me 99% certainty that Maxandre had ADHD. I was able to see, right in front of me, the differences compared to other students.

There's Nothing to Be Ashamed About

One of the biggest misconceptions some people have about ADHD is the idea that it is related to the way parents raise their children (“badly brought up kids” in other words). This is not true. We lived it with our two boys. Raised in the same environment, they were the polar opposites of each other, even though both were active boys!

Studies show that ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder that causes differences in the brain, meaning that the brains of people with ADHD work differently. Since it is a neurological disorder, the symptoms are beyond a child’s control. As such, there is no shame in having a child with ADHD and talking about it. We must support the child and not be discouraged by their actions!

Understanding the Challenges

Below is an infographic that I created with reasons why managing ADHD can just be so hard. I chose the subject of “challenges” because identifying the symptoms is the first step for parents. The infographic lists some of the common difficulties within families, especially before a diagnosis. It is important that all of us, parents, grandparents, or others around us, be on the lookout for signs. It is even more crucial that parents feel less alone in their frustration.

Most of the challenges that occur below are more likely to happen during the day-to-day routine and at school. By contrast, in happier situations (e.g. visiting friends or grandparents), these issues are less likely to be apparent. As such, we must look beneath the surface and avoid making quick judgments, especially if we aren’t part of day-to-day life of the child!

Not all behaviours listed below will necessarily be present for all families and children with ADHD. The situations listed in the infographic are just more likely to happen with a child with ADHD. Each child is unique. A list of references that I consulted before I created the infographic can be found below.

If you found this helpful, please kindly share it with any other families it might help. Also, if you are a parent with an ADHD child, don’t hesitate to share it with you family or friends, they might understand your situation better after!

Lastly, please feel free to visit my blog site Grieving Maman. On my blog, I share our experience with ADHD, but also my personal perspectives on special needs families, grief, trauma and depression; while supporting each other through difficult times.